She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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