My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
