i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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