yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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