Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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