Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
