I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
