So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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