rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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