why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need water and some morals
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
