I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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