Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
