I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everything about him screamed your future.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
they call him Oral-B. enough said
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
