Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
