We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
