All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
