does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
