My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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