I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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