I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
