I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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