Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
