your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
