do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
