dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
