I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
