i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
