and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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