Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
