Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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