Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i now understand why vodka
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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