He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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