At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
