I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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