Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
