That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
