Don't you send me to vm
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
