I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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