I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's great music for shaving your balls
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
