with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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