I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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