I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Semen is not good for contacts.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
