It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's never too late to be topless.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
