pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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