there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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