I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
