There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
