What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
