i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
