Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
